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Fed Up

Response to:
“Suburban Women: The New Vanguard of a Cosmopolitan Uprising?”

Larry,

For many women, it is simple. We are fed up.

Sadly, suburban or not, our community & Country has reached a level of violent threats that include hate crimes towards women, against our friends, and ourselves.  People now openly threaten to beat women over customer service dilemmas. It has reached a level where oppositional critics rally for aggression while dismissing the request for assistance in preventing further violence.

The current public attitude is “that’s your problem.”  Instilling violence against women in our community is not productive, and using social media posts to inflame a derogatory & savage retaliation is vulgar. Wearily, I realized that I was able to disrupt the progressive narrative about women, but I had done nothing to secure its prosperous growth.

And that is the problem; women between the ages of 35-55 have done very little to maintain the equality milestones our predecessors created. In 1919, women stood outside the White House and demanded that they are allowed to vote. New laws in the 1920s would promote women’s health and education. In the 1960s and 70s, feminists guaranteed, under the law, limited equal rights in the workplaces of universities and colleges and secured the use of contraception, along with abortions rights.

Now we are mad, fed up, screaming “me too”, your “times up”. It is that simple. Suburban, urban, rural or exurban are inconsequential factors.

As a businesswoman, I seek out and maintain sustainable practices in the multiple businesses I run. Sustainability rests on the principle that we must meet the needs of the present without compromising the abilities or opportunities of future generations. Therefore, if we are given a chance to influence other people, we should not influence their hate, jealousy, or anger.

We have wasted almost a half century, and things have not become better. Women were slipping. But now, we are fed up. We need to get back up and push ourselves, push our pain to where we need to be. Our pain will move us from where we are today to where we want to be in the future.

Women have an opportunity of a lifetime.

Women, if you want this to be your decade, you must give up the trivial. Stretch, work day and night, and reach for your unfolding future. We are inches away from losing all those rights the women and men before us had struggled to achieve. You don’t want it bad enough if you’re going to relax on the weekends. You can’t relax, you must get up and decide how you are going to fix this it. We need to teach valuable skills and life-long lessons emphasizing that Women’s Rights are invaluable to our society. Teach young girls that poise and grace can exist with grit and passion. Because this is a long hard fight, do you have the skill and determination to stay in the game? I do; challenge me, be stronger than me, make us all reach towards a better future for Women.

I’m fed up.

Jenneffer Pulapaka

#womeninspirechange

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Women’s Equality Day 2017

 

Women’s Equality Day, August 26th, marks the ratification of the 19th Amendment, giving women the right to vote. DJ Trump never proclaimed equality for women on the day of observance, something every sitting president since Nixon has done. Trump skirted around mentioning equal access to health care, the gender pay gap, or gender-based violence.  And hey, we have no shortage of questionable national days so do it right– hello, National Cheeseburger Day.

Here is the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA):
Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.

It IS that simple.

For years, I have listened to men complain about being discriminated by affirmative action. Guess what men? You will benefit from the passage of the equal rights amendment.

Today, there is little doubt that one of the greatest areas of discrimination against women is in employment. The average is an 18% pay discrepancy annually. Unions report, “we want to protect the little women” than admit that it is lucrative for the men in American industry. Thousands of jobs from which women are arbitrarily excluded are the well-paid, interesting, “male” jobs and what remains are the poorly paid, tedious jobs, as “female” jobs. This is a cruel way of keeping women in a condition of poverty and humiliation. 35% of the families headed by women live in poverty; 61% of the Nation’s poor children live in families headed by women. Your failure to pay equally leads to a nation of children destined for a path of poverty and dependence on government aid.

Equality must be written into our Constitution. Women have not been protected by the Supreme Court; which has not extended to any female citizen the protection of the 5th  or the 14th amendments. Why should working women spend thousands of dollars on litigation to gain work equality?

Prevarication that the amendment will keep women with dependent children from receiving alimony is a common scare tactic. The women I know, who are divorced, must work to support their children because child support is not there. If a man divorced his wife, done legally, got custody of the children, alimony, and child support, then good for him.

The ERA would put “gay rights” into the U.S. Constitution. Yes, it’s about damn time!

The ERA will jeopardize single-sex programs and schools. Yes, we need to begin teaching children that sexism in youth lays the foundation for sexism as an adult. We are a country that is sexist; dictated under a current Administration that demonstrates misogyny and racism. The current “ways” are not successful for 1/2 of its population. It is time to change. Additionally, it would take away women’s traditional exemption from military conscription and also from military combat duty. I wholeheartedly believe that all citizens, if able, be exposed to conscription and the ability to join the armed forces.

Yes, the ERA would put abortion rights into the U.S. Constitution and make abortion funding a constitutional right. I am sorry, anti-abortion advocates, your beliefs should not be above the current rules of law. Federal health care does not ban any legal medical procedure for men. Additionally, the ERA will lead to a balancing of insurance companies premiums: health, life, automobile, etc. Women will not be required to pay higher insurance premiums with equality; they will be paying insurance equally with men.

“I will continue to support and uphold equal humanity for all.  Let us never forget that all people in the USA are entitled that the equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex. ”

Jenneffer Pulapaka

 

#womeninspirechange #womenlead #docslead #equality

 

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Wednesday Wreading: Cherokee Women and the Trail of Tears

Did you know Cherokee women had a voice in the Cherokee government? The Cherokee were not only matrilineal, but they also were matrilocal. “Marriage gives no right to the husband over the property of his wife.”    Read More about Cherokee Women and the Trail of Tears, by Theda Perdue.

 

Visit www.WICCD.org for more information about the gathering taking place on the Trail of Tears Commemoration Day, which gives us a chance to celebrate Native American’s rich heritage, to socialize with old friends and make new ones, to eat food inspired by centuries-old tradition, and to learn from mistakes while accepting each other as we are and walk together in peace.

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You’re not “interested”?

Threatened,
Disorganized,
Losing.

Growing up in Orlando, I wanted to “get into modeling.” My mother was on a fixed budget, though we had some spending money. We did not have the budget for my “I must go to modeling school” expense. However, my mom surprised me, got a new high-interest Choice credit card and paid for the most expensive Modeling & Image school in Orlando. I will never forget the expense she bore, nor would I forget what I had learned at school. Over 10-12 weeks, my mother would drop me off at class and pick me up, this is where I learned valuable skills and lifelong lessons about image and advancing your career. Those lessons allowed me to work in the Modeling industry earning money throughout my teenage years, in fashion shows, print, commercials, etc., before I left for college.

Three decades later, I am an accomplished modern day renaissance woman. I’ve used those lessons from my youth, over and over again.  I have heard extraordinary speakers, traveled extensively throughout the world, and run successful businesses. But, something was unsettling, there was a mysterious undercurrent creating inner turbulence. Jolting awake, in the early morning hours before the sun could flood the bedroom, I realized I hadn’t done a damn thing to support women’s rights. Why was that important?

As things go, I was recently updating my Curriculum Vitae and casually noticed I could have used phrases, such as, “the first female…”, “the only woman…”, “the only women out of…”, to a nauseating extreme. On that morning, I realized that I was able to disrupt the progressive narrative about women, but I had done nothing to secure its prosperous growth.

And that is the problem; women between the ages of 35-55 have done very little to maintain the equality milestones our predecessors created. In 1919, women stood outside the White House and demanded that they are allowed to vote. New laws in the 1920s would promote women’s health and education. In the 1960s and 70s, feminists guaranteed, under the law, limited equal rights in the workplaces of universities and colleges and secured the use of contraception, along with abortions rights.

Now we approach the 3rd Wave of Feminism, which is quietly protesting social reform against people’s unconscious biases. But, we have not taken care of the 2nd Wave, this newest generation is running with a grassroots movement that does not have a platform to build on. Our current government is still not set to guarantee women equal pay or representation; and the abortion issue, along with women’s health rights, is still on the chopping block almost monthly.

To this end, I challenged myself to promote projects that will support, encourage, and inspire women to know their worth and demand their equal rights. I needed to pick up where my generation dropped off.

I founded a symposium, Women Inspiring Change and Community Development (WICCD), pulling my weight and pushing women further. As I reached out to my generation, the new guards from my iconic past, for support, I was shocked by their complacent personal agenda. The bottom line was when I looked at the group of people I was surrounded by; it was easy for me to think I was accomplishing a lot. Because compared to many of them, I was the only one advocating for women. The powerful women I looked up to from my youth had been replaced. And there was the fault in my thinking; I needed to be the weakest link so that I can be pushed to do better, we can be better, women can be better. I must grow, when I’ve reached that goal, I need to stretch out and be better.

I need to say to my generation, what gives you the right to tell me you’re not “interested” in the promotion, protection, and advancement of women? What gives you the right, to hinder young girls with your faulted thinking of “we have it all”? Because we do not have it all. Why has my generation become comfortable? Do you know what it takes for women to become equal? Someone, some group, is waiting for us to fail. Now, what are you going to do about it?

You must get up. If we are not where we want to be, you must sacrifice. Don’t take your great ideas to the graveyard.

What are you going to do with your time? You have wasted almost a half century, and things have not become better. We are slipping. You need to get back up and push yourself, push your pain to where you need to be. Your pain will move you from where you are today to where you want to be in the future.

You have an opportunity of a lifetime. If you want this to be your decade, you must give up the trivial. Stretch, work day and night, and reach for your unfolding future. We are inches away from losing all those rights the women and men before us had struggled to achieve. You don’t want it bad enough if you want to relax on the weekends. You can’t relax, you must get up and decide how you are going to fix this it. We need to teach valuable skills and life-long lessons emphasizing that Women’s Rights are invaluable to our society. Teach young girls that poise and grace can exist with grit and passion. Because this is a long hard fight, do you have the skill and determination to stay in the game? I do; challenge me, be stronger than me, make us all reach towards a better future for Women.

 

Jenneffer Pulapaka

#womeninspirechange

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Wednesday Wreading: Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches

Sister Outsider:  Essays and Speeches
by
Audre Larde

Two essays from the book’s collection are linked below.

Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power*

When we look away from the importance of the erotic in the development and sustenance of our power, or when we look away from ourselves as we satisfy our erotic needs in concert with others, we use each other as objects of satisfaction rather than share our joy in the satisfying, rather than make connection with our similarities and our differences.

Age, Race, Class, and Sex: Women Redefining Difference

Today, with the defeat of ERA, the tightening economy, and increased conservatism, it is easier once again for white women to believe the dangerous fantasy that if you are good enough, pretty enough, sweet enough, quiet enough, teach the children to behave, hate the right people, and marry the right men, then you will be allowed to co-exist with patriarchy in relative peace, at least until a man needs your job or the neighborhood rapist happens along.

 

 

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WAKE UP AND FIGHT!

It’s only been 100 days.  WAKE UP AND FIGHT, because it’s just getting started.

As women, we have faced many adversaries; we evaluate, we learn, and we regroup.  The last time women in the USA regrouped was in the 1970’s and we are overdue.  Wynton Marsalis wrote, ” I have absolutely no idea what my generation did to enrich our democracy.  We dropped the ball. We entered a period of complacency and closed our eyes…”  The lack of urgency has become the general fabric of our current lives and we are losing rights and protection that many before us fought to obtain in the USA.  “The tragedy of life is often not in our failure, but rather in our complacency; not in our doing too much, but rather in our doing too little, ” wrote  Benjamin E. Mays.

Stanley Milgram, a psychologist at Yale University, conducted an experiment focusing on people’s  justification for the acts of genocide that they carried out, such as the Nazi killings in World War II.  Their defense often was based on obedience to their superiors.

  • The agentic state – people allow others to direct their actions and then pass off the responsibility for the consequences to the person giving the orders. In other words, they act as agents for another person’s will.

Milgram suggested that two things must be in place in order for a person to enter the agentic state:

  1. 1.  The person giving the orders is perceived as being qualified to direct other people’s behavior. That is, they are seen as legitimate.
  2. 2.  The person being ordered about is able to believe that the authority will accept responsibility for what happens.

Agentic theory says that people will obey an authority when they believe that the authority will take responsibility for the consequences of their actions. This is supported by some aspects of Milgram’s evidence.

“Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth”,  echo the words of  John F. Kennedy.  Trump has initiated the jailing process and he is executing punishment to women on a global scale.

  1. The Global Gag Rule. Trump’s reinstatement of theMexico City Policy restricts funding so that it cannot be received by any organization that also provides abortion services.
  2. Potentially Defunding – The Office of Global Women’s Issue. The proposed federal budget cut would see the The Global Women’s Issues Office defunded and that money instead of going to issues involving national security.  Abrupt defunding of girls education initiative, Let Girls Learn.
  3. Revoking Obama’s Fair Pay Scale And Safe Workplace Order The Obama Order require that Federal contractors have paycheck transparency, for evaluation of pay equality. Also, there was a ban on forced arbitration in the case of sexual harassment or assault.
  4. Proposing To Defund Anti-Violence Organizations. Budget cuts that Trump is proposing would put a lot of key anti-violence funding in danger — with low-income women and women of color bearing most of the burden. This includes the National Domestic Violence Hotline and other programs funded under the Violence Against Women Act.
  5. Empowering Misogynists. Emboldening power of other leaders to be misogynists around the country.
  6. Endangering Title X And The Health Care It Provides To Women Everywhere. Family planning funding for low-income women, including helping fund 4,000 Planned Parenthood clinics. But earlier this month, Trump signed a bill that would allow states to control that funding. This means they could deny funding to abortion providers and prevent them from providing the health care that so many women currently rely on. Dire consequences for women when politicians rely on ideology rather than medical expertise.
  7. Ending U.S. Funding For The UN’s Population Fund. The Trump administration will withhold $32.5 million in funding that had been earmarked this current fiscal year for the United Nations’ lead agency on family planning and maternal health, known as theUnited Nations Population Fund or UNFPA. The administration says it’s doing so because it has determined that UNFPA helps to support a Chinese government family planning program that forces people to get abortions and sterilizations. The U.N. agency says that is not the case. UNFPA countered that the claim was “erroneous,” asserting that “all of its work promotes the human rights of individuals and couples to make their own decisions, free of coercion or discrimination.” 
  8. Attacking The ACA. “Gender rating” when it comes to premiums. Additionally, discontinuing essential female services like maternity care and mammograms.
  9. Confirming Neil Gorsuch. Gorsuch‘s record is *VERY* clear: he has opposed the rights of women, #LGBTQ people, immigrants, disabled people, & workers.
  10. Endangering Victims Of Domestic Abuse Through His Immigration Policy. “It’ll deter people from reporting violence. It’ll deter people from seeking services that can also save their life.” The actions by ICE seem to violate the 2013 reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act. When the Act was last renewed, provisions were added that ensured confidentiality and protected victims who were undocumented from being detained or deported when reporting the crime.

May the words of Maya Angelou lead us forward, “A wise woman wishes to be no one’s enemy; a wise woman refuses to be anyone’s victim. ”

WAKE UP AND FIGHT!

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A riddle


A Riddle –

A man and his child are driving on I-95, and they’re in a terrible accident. The father is killed. The seriously injured child is unconscious and airlifted to the nearest Level I Trauma Center. As they’re bringing the child off the helicopter to the arriving trauma team, the Trauma Surgeon-in-Chief runs up and says, “I can’t treat this kid, that’s my child.”

How is this possible?

A conversation between two women.
WHITE WOMAN (WW): All women face the same oppression as women. All women are similarly situated in patriarchy, and therefore all women have a kind of intuitive solidarity or sisterhood.

BLACK WOMAN (BW): I’m not so sure. Let me ask you a question. So, when you get up in the morning and you look in the mirror, what do you see?

WW: I see a woman.

BW: You see, that’s the problem for me. Because when I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror, I see a black woman. To me, race is visible. But to you, race is invisible. You don’t see it.

And that’s how privilege works. You see, privilege is invisible to those who have it. It is a luxury. Privilege is invisible to those who have it!

As I have quoted before;
“Never trust anyone who says they do not see color.
This means to them, you are invisible.”
― Nayyirah Waheed

Men are invisible. “What?”
When people hear the word “gender,” they think it means women, gay, lesbian, bisexual. Until women can confront a men’s sense of entitlement, I don’t believe that we will understand why a great number of men resist gender equality. Men don’t have a gender. This is one of the ways that dominant systems maintain and reproduce themselves. Rarely is a dominating system challenged to think about its dominance; that’s one of the keys to power and privilege, the ability to go unexamined, lacking introspection, in fact, being rendered invisible. White men in the United States and Europe are the beneficiaries of the single greatest affirmative action program in the history of the world; they are invisible.

The lack of speaking out is silence, and isn’t silence a form of consent and complicity? We have heard that before in male rhetoric around female violence. “She didn’t say no”. That leads to the next question, why are men left out of the term, “female violence”?

“In the end, what will hurt the most is not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.”
― Martin Luther King

Humanity needs more adult men with power to start prioritizing these issues because gender equality is good for men. Young men want lives where they have a marvelous relationship with their child; where their children are safe from predators. They expect their partners to work outside the home and be just as committed to their careers as they are. When men participate in housework and childcare, their kids are happier and healthier. When men share housework and childcare, their wives are happier. When men share, they live longer, are happier, have daughters with high esteem, sons believing in gender equality, and they themselves are more successful and more profitable in business.

The World Economics Forum was reporting that it wouldn’t be until 2133 until Equal Pay would be a reality, but with recent global changes, it has been pushed back to 2186. Sadly, it will take 7 generations until that female Trauma Surgeon-in-Chief, the child’s mother, will be paid equally.
PS: Alternatively, it could have been one of the child’s two dads. Upholding equal humanity.

#womeninspirechange #HeforShe

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Wednesday Wreading: THE DOLL’S HOUSE

The Doll’s House by Katherine Mansfield

THE DOLL’S HOUSE

When dear old Mrs. Hay went back to town after staying with the Burnells she sent the children a doll’s house. It was so big that the carter and Pat carried it into the courtyard, and there it stayed, propped up on two wooden boxes beside the feed-room door. No harm could come of it; it was summer. And perhaps the smell of paint would have gone off by the time it had to be taken in. For, really, the smell of paint coming from that doll’s house (“Sweet of old Mrs. Hay, of course; most sweet and generous!”) — but the smell of paint was quite enough to make any one seriously ill, in Aunt Beryl’s opinion. Even before the sacking was taken off. And when it was . . .
There stood the doll’s house, a dark, oily, spinach green, picked out with bright yellow. Its two solid little chimneys, glued on to the roof, were painted red and white, and the door, gleaming with yellow varnish, was like a little slab of toffee. Four windows, real windows, were divided into panes by a broad streak of green. There was actually a tiny porch, too, painted yellow, with big lumps of congealed paint hanging along the edge.
But perfect, perfect little house! Who could possibly mind the smell? It was part of the joy, part of the newness.
“Open it quickly, some one!”
The hook at the side was stuck fast. Pat pried it open with his pen- knife, and the whole house-front swung back, and-there you were, gazing at one and the same moment into the drawing-room and dining-room, the kitchen and two bedrooms. That is the way for a house to open! Why don’t all houses open like that? How much more exciting than peering through the slit of a door into a mean little hall with a hat-stand and two umbrellas! That is-isn’t it? — what you long to know about a house when you put your hand on the knocker. Perhaps it is the way God opens houses at dead of night when He is taking a quiet turn with an angel. . . .
“Oh-oh!” The Burnell children sounded as though they were in despair. It was too marvellous; it was too much for them. They had never seen anything like it in their lives. All the rooms were papered. There were pictures on the walls, painted on the paper, with gold frames complete. Red carpet covered all the floors except the kitchen; red plush chairs in the drawing-room, green in the dining-room; tables, beds with real bedclothes, a cradle, a stove, a dresser with tiny plates and one big jug. But what Kezia liked more than anything, what she liked frightfully, was the lamp. It stood in the middle of the dining-room table, an exquisite little amber lamp with a white globe. It was even filled all ready for lighting, though, of course, you couldn’t light it. But there was something inside that looked like oil, and that moved when you shook it.
The father and mother dolls, who sprawled very stiff as though they had fainted in the drawing-room, and their two little children asleep upstairs, were really too big for the doll’s house. They didn’t look as though they belonged. But the lamp was perfect. It seemed to smile to Kezia, to say, “I live here.” The lamp was real.
The Burnell children could hardly walk to school fast enough the next morning. They burned to tell everybody, to describe, to-well-to boast about their doll’s house before the school-bell rang.
“I’m to tell,” said Isabel, “because I’m the eldest. And you two can join in after. But I’m to tell first.”
There was nothing to answer. Isabel was bossy, but she was always right, and Lottie and Kezia knew too well the powers that went with being eldest. They brushed through the thick buttercups at the road edge and said nothing.
“And I’m to choose who’s to come and see it first. Mother said I might.”
For it had been arranged that while the doll’s house stood in the courtyard they might ask the girls at school, two at a time, to come and look. Not to stay to tea, of course, or to come traipsing through the house. But just to stand quietly in the courtyard while Isabel pointed out the beauties, and Lottie and Kezia looked pleased. . . .
But hurry as they might, by the time they had reached the tarred palings of the boys’ playground the bell had begun to jangle. They only just had time to whip off their hats and fall into line before the roll was called. Never mind. Isabel tried to make up for it by looking very important and mysterious and by whispering behind her hand to the girls near her, “Got something to tell you at playtime.”
Playtime came and Isabel was surrounded. The girls of her class nearly fought to put their arms round her, to walk away with her, to beam flatteringly, to be her special friend. She held quite a court under the huge pine trees at the side of the playground. Nudging, giggling together, the little girls pressed up close. And the only two who stayed outside the ring were the two who were always outside, the little Kelveys. They knew better than to come anywhere near the Burnells.
For the fact was, the school the Burnell children went to was not at all the kind of place their parents would have chosen if there had been any choice. But there was none. It was the only school for miles. And the consequence was all the children in the neighborhood, the judge’s little girls, the doctor’s daughters, the store-keeper’s children, the milkman’s, were forced to mix together. Not to speak of there being an equal number of rude, rough little boys as well. But the line had to be drawn somewhere. It was drawn at the Kelveys. Many of the children, including the Burnells, were not allowed even to speak to them. They walked past the Kelveys with their heads in the air, and as they set the fashion in all matters of behaviour, the Kelveys were shunned by everybody. Even the teacher had a special voice for them, and a special smile for the other children when Lil Kelvey came up to her desk with a bunch of dreadfully common-looking flowers.
They were the daughters of a spry, hardworking little washerwoman, who went about from house to house by the day. This was awful enough. But where was Mr. Kelvey? Nobody knew for certain. But everybody said he was in prison. So they were the daughters of a washerwoman and a gaolbird. Very nice company for other people’s children! And they looked it. Why Mrs. Kelvey made them so conspicuous was hard to understand. The truth was they were dressed in “bits” given to her by the people for whom she worked. Lil, for instance, who was a stout, plain child, with big freckles, came to school in a dress made from a green art-serge table-cloth of the Burnells’, with red plush sleeves from the Logans’ curtains. Her hat, perched on top of her high forehead, was a grown-up woman’s hat, once the property of Miss Lecky, the postmistress. It was turned up at the back and trimmed with a large scarlet quill. What a little guy she looked! It was impossible not to laugh. And her little sister, our Else, wore a long white dress, rather like a nightgown, and a pair of little boy’s boots. But whatever our Else wore she would have looked strange. She was a tiny wishbone of a child, with cropped hair and enormous solemn eyes-a little white owl. Nobody had ever seen her smile; she scarcely ever spoke. She went through life holding on to Lil, with a piece of Lil’s skirt screwed up in her hand. Where Lil went our Else followed. In the playground, on the road going to and from school, there was Lil marching in front and our Else holding on behind. Only when she wanted anything, or when she was out of breath, our Else gave Lil a tug, a twitch, and Lil stopped and turned round. The Kelveys never failed to understand each other.
Now they hovered at the edge; you couldn’t stop them listening. When the little girls turned round and sneered, Lil, as usual, gave her silly, shamefaced smile, but our Else only looked.
And Isabel’s voice, so very proud, went on telling. The carpet made a great sensation, but so did the beds with real bedclothes, and the stove with an oven door.
When she finished Kezia broke in. “You’ve forgotten the lamp, Isabel.”
“Oh, yes,” said Isabel, “and there’s a teeny little lamp, all made of yellow glass, with a white globe that stands on the dining-room table. You couldn’t tell it from a real one.”
“The lamp’s best of all,” cried Kezia. She thought Isabel wasn’t making half enough of the little lamp. But nobody paid any attention. Isabel was choosing the two who were to come back with them that afternoon and see it. She chose Emmie Cole and Lena Logan. But when the others knew they were all to have a chance, they couldn’t be nice enough to Isabel. One by one they put their arms round Isabel’s waist and walked her off. They had something to whisper to her, a secret. “Isabel’s my friend.”
Only the little Kelveys moved away forgotten; there was nothing more for them to hear.
Days passed, and as more children saw the doll’s house, the fame of it spread. It became the one subject, the rage. The one question was, “Have you seen Burnells’ doll’s house?” “Oh, ain’t it lovely!” “Haven’t you seen it? Oh, I say!”
Even the dinner hour was given up to talking about it. The little girls sat under the pines eating their thick mutton sandwiches and big slabs of johnny cake spread with butter. While always, as near as they could get, sat the Kelveys, our Else holding on to Lil, listening too, while they chewed their jam sandwiches out of a newspaper soaked with large red blobs.
“Mother,” said Kezia, “can’t I ask the Kelveys just once?”
“Certainly not, Kezia.”
“But why not?”
“Run away, Kezia; you know quite well why not.”

At last everybody had seen it except them. On that day the subject rather flagged. It was the dinner hour. The children stood together under the pine trees, and suddenly, as they looked at the Kelveys eating out of their paper, always by themselves, always listening, they wanted to be horrid to them. Emmie Cole started the whisper.
“Lil Kelvey’s going to be a servant when she grows up.”
“O-oh, how awful!” said Isabel Burnell, and she made eyes at Emmie.
Emmie swallowed in a very meaning way and nodded to Isabel as she’d seen her mother do on those occasions.
“It’s true-it’s true-it’s true,” she said.
Then Lena Logan’s little eyes snapped. “Shall I ask her?” she whispered.
“Bet you don’t,” said Jessie May.
“Pooh, I’m not frightened,” said Lena. Suddenly she gave a little squeal and danced in front of the other girls. “Watch! Watch me! Watch me now!” said Lena. And sliding, gliding, dragging one foot, giggling behind her hand, Lena went over to the Kelveys.
Lil looked up from her dinner. She wrapped the rest quickly away. Our Else stopped chewing. What was coming now?
“Is it true you’re going to be a servant when you grow up, Lil Kelvey?” shrilled Lena.
Dead silence. But instead of answering, Lil only gave her silly, shame-faced smile. She didn’t seem to mind the question at all. What a sell for Lena! The girls began to titter.
Lena couldn’t stand that. She put her hands on her hips; she shot forward. “Yah, yer father’s in prison!” she hissed, spitefully.
This was such a marvellous thing to have said that the little girls rushed away in a body, deeply, deeply excited, wild with joy. Someone found a long rope, and they began skipping. And never did they skip so high, run in and out so fast, or do such daring things as on that morning.
In the afternoon Pat called for the Burnell children with the buggy and they drove home. There were visitors. Isabel and Lottie, who liked visitors, went upstairs to change their pinafores. But Kezia thieved out at the back. Nobody was about; she began to swing on the big white gates of the courtyard. Presently, looking along the road, she saw two little dots. They grew bigger, they were coming towards her. Now she could see that one was in front and one close behind. Now she could see that they were the Kelveys. Kezia stopped swinging. She slipped off the gate as if she was going to run away. Then she hesitated. The Kelveys came nearer, and beside them walked their shadows, very long, stretching right across the road with their heads in the buttercups. Kezia clambered back on the gate; she had made up her mind; she swung out.
“Hullo,” she said to the passing Kelveys.
They were so astounded that they stopped. Lil gave her silly smile. Our Else stared.
“You can come and see our doll’s house if you want to,” said Kezia, and she dragged one toe on the ground. But at that Lil turned red and shook her head quickly.
“Why not?” asked Kezia.
Lil gasped, then she said, “Your ma told our ma you wasn’t to speak to us.”
“Oh, well,” said Kezia. She didn’t know what to reply. “It doesn’t matter. You can come and see our doll’s house all the same. Come on. Nobody’s looking.”
But Lil shook her head still harder.
“Don’t you want to?” asked Kezia.
Suddenly there was a twitch, a tug at Lil’s skirt. She turned round. Our Else was looking at her with big, imploring eyes; she was frowning; she wanted to go. For a moment Lil looked at our Else very doubtfully. But then our Else twitched her skirt again. She started forward. Kezia led the way. Like two little stray cats they followed across the courtyard to where the doll’s house stood.
“There it is,” said Kezia.
There was a pause. Lil breathed loudly, almost snorted; our Else was still as a stone.
“I’ll open it for you,” said Kezia kindly. She undid the hook and they looked inside.
“There’s the drawing-room and the dining-room, and that’s the-”
“Kezia!”
Oh, what a start they gave!
“Kezia!”
It was Aunt Beryl’s voice. They turned round. At the back door stood Aunt Beryl, staring as if she couldn’t believe what she saw.
“How dare you ask the little Kelveys into the courtyard?” said her cold, furious voice. “You know as well as I do, you’re not allowed to talk to them. Run away, children, run away at once. And don’t come back again,” said Aunt Beryl. And she stepped into the yard and shooed them out as if they were chickens.
“Off you go immediately!” she called, cold and proud.
They did not need telling twice. Burning with shame, shrinking together, Lil huddling along like her mother, our Else dazed, somehow they crossed the big courtyard and squeezed through the white gate.
“Wicked, disobedient little girl!” said Aunt Beryl bitterly to Kezia, and she slammed the doll’s house to.
The afternoon had been awful. A letter had come from Willie Brent, a terrifying, threatening letter, saying if she did not meet him that evening in Pulman’s Bush, he’d come to the front door and ask the reason why! But now that she had frightened those little rats of Kelveys and given Kezia a good scolding, her heart felt lighter. That ghastly pressure was gone. She went back to the house humming.
When the Kelveys were well out of sight of Burnells’, they sat down to rest on a big red drain-pipe by the side of the road. Lil’s cheeks were still burning; she took off the hat with the quill and held it on her knee. Dreamily they looked over the hay paddocks, past the creek, to the group of wattles where Logan’s cows stood waiting to be milked. What were their thoughts?
Presently our Else nudged up close to her sister. But now she had forgotten the cross lady. She put out a finger and stroked her sister’s quill; she smiled her rare smile.
“I seen the little lamp,” she said, softly.
Then both were silent once more.

 

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Women and not girls

THERE WAS ONCE

“There was once a poor girl, as beautiful as she was good, who lived with her wicked stepmother in a house in the forest.”

“Forest? Forest is passé, I mean, I’ve had it with all this wilderness stuff. It’s not a right image of our society, today. Let’s have some urban for a change.”

“There was once a poor girl, as beautiful as she was good, who lived with her wicked stepmother in a house in the suburbs.”

“That’s better. But I have to seriously query this word poor.”

“But she was poor!”

“Poor is relative. She lived in a house, didn’t she?”

“Yes.”

“Then socio-economically speaking, she was not poor.”

“But none of the money was hers! The whole point of the story is that the wicked stepmother makes her wear old clothes and sleep in the fireplace-”

“Aha! They had a fireplace! With poor, let me tell you, there’s no fireplace. Come down to the park, come to the subway stations after dark, come down to where they sleep in cardboard boxes, and I’ll show you poor!”

“There was once a middle-class girl, as beautiful as she was good-”

“Stop right there. I think we can cut the beautiful, don’t you? Women these days have to deal with too many intimidating physical role models as it is, what with those bimbos in the ads. Can’t you make her, well, more average?”

“There was once a girl who was a little overweight and whose front teeth stuck out, who-”

“I don’t think it’s nice to make fun of people’s appearances. Plus, you’re encouraging anorexia.”

“I wasn’t making fun! I was just describing-”

“Skip the description. Description oppresses. But you can say what colour she was.”

“What colour?”

“You know. Black, white, red, brown, yellow. Those are the choices. And I’m telling you right now, I’ve had enough of white. Dominant culture this, dominant culture that-”

“I don’t know what colour.”

“Well, it would probably be your colour, wouldn’t it?”

“But this isn’t about me! It’s about this girl-”

“Everything is about you.”

“Sounds to me like you don’t want to hear this story at all.”

“Oh well, go on. You could make her ethnic. That might help.”

“There was once a girl of indeterminate descent, as average-looking as she was good, who lived with her wicked-”

“Another thing. Good and wicked. Don’t you think you should transcend those puritanical judgmental moralistic epithets? I mean, so much of that is conditioning, isn’t it?”

“There was once a girl, as average-looking as she was well-adjusted, who lived with her stepmother, who was not a very open and loving person because she herself had been abused in childhood.”

“Better. But I am so tired of negative female images! And stepmothers-they always get it in the neck! Change it to stepfather, why don’t you? That would make more sense anyway, considering the bad behaviour you’re about to describe. And throw in some whips and chains. We all know what those twisted, repressed, middle-aged men are like-”

“Hey, just a minute! I’m a middle-aged-”

“Stuff it, Mister Nosy Parker. Nobody asked you to stick in your oar, or whatever you want to call that thing. This is between the two of us. Go on.”

“There was once a girl-”

“How old was she?”

“I don’t know. She was young.”

“This ends with a marriage, right?”

“Well, not to blow the plot, but-yes.”

“Then you can scratch the condescending paternalistic terminology. It’s woman, pal. Woman.”

“There was once-”

“What’s this was, once? Enough of the dead past. Tell me about now.”

“There-”

“So?”

“So, what?”

“So, why not here?”

 

Photo by:  Ryan McGuire

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