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WAKE UP AND FIGHT!

It’s only been 100 days.  WAKE UP AND FIGHT, because it’s just getting started.

As women, we have faced many adversaries; we evaluate, we learn, and we regroup.  The last time women in the USA regrouped was in the 1970’s and we are overdue.  Wynton Marsalis wrote, ” I have absolutely no idea what my generation did to enrich our democracy.  We dropped the ball. We entered a period of complacency and closed our eyes…”  The lack of urgency has become the general fabric of our current lives and we are losing rights and protection that many before us fought to obtain in the USA.  “The tragedy of life is often not in our failure, but rather in our complacency; not in our doing too much, but rather in our doing too little, ” wrote  Benjamin E. Mays.

Stanley Milgram, a psychologist at Yale University, conducted an experiment focusing on people’s  justification for the acts of genocide that they carried out, such as the Nazi killings in World War II.  Their defense often was based on obedience to their superiors.

  • The agentic state – people allow others to direct their actions and then pass off the responsibility for the consequences to the person giving the orders. In other words, they act as agents for another person’s will.

Milgram suggested that two things must be in place in order for a person to enter the agentic state:

  1. 1.  The person giving the orders is perceived as being qualified to direct other people’s behavior. That is, they are seen as legitimate.
  2. 2.  The person being ordered about is able to believe that the authority will accept responsibility for what happens.

Agentic theory says that people will obey an authority when they believe that the authority will take responsibility for the consequences of their actions. This is supported by some aspects of Milgram’s evidence.

“Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth”,  echo the words of  John F. Kennedy.  Trump has initiated the jailing process and he is executing punishment to women on a global scale.

  1. The Global Gag Rule. Trump’s reinstatement of theMexico City Policy restricts funding so that it cannot be received by any organization that also provides abortion services.
  2. Potentially Defunding – The Office of Global Women’s Issue. The proposed federal budget cut would see the The Global Women’s Issues Office defunded and that money instead of going to issues involving national security.  Abrupt defunding of girls education initiative, Let Girls Learn.
  3. Revoking Obama’s Fair Pay Scale And Safe Workplace Order The Obama Order require that Federal contractors have paycheck transparency, for evaluation of pay equality. Also, there was a ban on forced arbitration in the case of sexual harassment or assault.
  4. Proposing To Defund Anti-Violence Organizations. Budget cuts that Trump is proposing would put a lot of key anti-violence funding in danger — with low-income women and women of color bearing most of the burden. This includes the National Domestic Violence Hotline and other programs funded under the Violence Against Women Act.
  5. Empowering Misogynists. Emboldening power of other leaders to be misogynists around the country.
  6. Endangering Title X And The Health Care It Provides To Women Everywhere. Family planning funding for low-income women, including helping fund 4,000 Planned Parenthood clinics. But earlier this month, Trump signed a bill that would allow states to control that funding. This means they could deny funding to abortion providers and prevent them from providing the health care that so many women currently rely on. Dire consequences for women when politicians rely on ideology rather than medical expertise.
  7. Ending U.S. Funding For The UN’s Population Fund. The Trump administration will withhold $32.5 million in funding that had been earmarked this current fiscal year for the United Nations’ lead agency on family planning and maternal health, known as theUnited Nations Population Fund or UNFPA. The administration says it’s doing so because it has determined that UNFPA helps to support a Chinese government family planning program that forces people to get abortions and sterilizations. The U.N. agency says that is not the case. UNFPA countered that the claim was “erroneous,” asserting that “all of its work promotes the human rights of individuals and couples to make their own decisions, free of coercion or discrimination.” 
  8. Attacking The ACA. “Gender rating” when it comes to premiums. Additionally, discontinuing essential female services like maternity care and mammograms.
  9. Confirming Neil Gorsuch. Gorsuch‘s record is *VERY* clear: he has opposed the rights of women, #LGBTQ people, immigrants, disabled people, & workers.
  10. Endangering Victims Of Domestic Abuse Through His Immigration Policy. “It’ll deter people from reporting violence. It’ll deter people from seeking services that can also save their life.” The actions by ICE seem to violate the 2013 reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act. When the Act was last renewed, provisions were added that ensured confidentiality and protected victims who were undocumented from being detained or deported when reporting the crime.

May the words of Maya Angelou lead us forward, “A wise woman wishes to be no one’s enemy; a wise woman refuses to be anyone’s victim. ”

WAKE UP AND FIGHT!

Through the looking glass and the Trump women

“Trump won white women without college degrees by 27 points in November. He lost college-educated white women by 7 points to Clinton.” As I read the latest Washington Post article, “‘Just knowing he’s here makes me feel good’: Women at NRA convention”, along with sipping on my morning coffee, all I could do was laugh then recoil in fear as the nightmare unfolds that we are in Wonderland where the ruler is the “King of the Duds.” “Trump’s approval rating has been trending downward among women since he took office, …just 34 percent among all women.” I am awake, together with more women as they awake, we might be able to pull others out of this world of nonsense.

Now, let me be plain-spoken, Donald J Trump is a Demagogue. In, January, I shook up the hornet’s nest and ostended, “he is a leader that exploits prejudice and ignorance.”

Let me illustrate, a woman, “Jansen, doesn’t understand why, in her words, ‘so many topics have become controversial, such as Trump’s business ties.'” She continues, “‘He’s doing nothing but things for us. . . . To the resistance, it’s like, follow him. Take a chance. Follow him. He’s your leader.'” The absurdity of her quote makes things become, curiouser and curiouser! “‘I’ll be damned if anybody’s going to tell me that I can and can’t do something.’ ” Thereupon, she denotes to hell with laws and rules, the things that define government. Her irrationality is the embodiment of ungovernable, blind, and aimless fury.

Lafavor, a woman, “’born and raised in the woods.’” Equates the NRA rally and her Second Amendment right to a “‘man’s playground,” she said, waving her hand toward the convention hall. ‘This is Disney World for men. . . . It’s comfortable, familiar for me, personally. But most women, not so much.’” To this I scream, “wake up”.

Finally, when the dirt is laundered, it remains about money. “’I’m ready for that wall to be built,'” said Patricia Valentine, 67, who is adamant about deporting Mexican citizens. Be that as it may, DJT in this very rally said, “’freedom is a gift from God.’” Does your leader have the holy retribution to take what God has given another? Dolefully, his followers are lost on the simple and logical connection. Valentine continues, “’I’m ready for him to cut taxes on businesses like my husband had,'” and inescapably, there it is – Capitalism. Money is their blood of life.

As I questioned before, “why did legions believe that an elitist would lead them to salvation and financial freedom? That answer is simple. It is the nature of a demagogue to exploit the ignorant.”

With that said, I will continue to uphold equal humanity for it is in my nature.

A riddle


A Riddle –

A man and his child are driving on I-95, and they’re in a terrible accident. The father is killed. The seriously injured child is unconscious and airlifted to the nearest Level I Trauma Center. As they’re bringing the child off the helicopter to the arriving trauma team, the Trauma Surgeon-in-Chief runs up and says, “I can’t treat this kid, that’s my child.”

How is this possible?

A conversation between two women.
WHITE WOMAN (WW): All women face the same oppression as women. All women are similarly situated in patriarchy, and therefore all women have a kind of intuitive solidarity or sisterhood.

BLACK WOMAN (BW): I’m not so sure. Let me ask you a question. So, when you get up in the morning and you look in the mirror, what do you see?

WW: I see a woman.

BW: You see, that’s the problem for me. Because when I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror, I see a black woman. To me, race is visible. But to you, race is invisible. You don’t see it.

And that’s how privilege works. You see, privilege is invisible to those who have it. It is a luxury. Privilege is invisible to those who have it!

As I have quoted before;
“Never trust anyone who says they do not see color.
This means to them, you are invisible.”
― Nayyirah Waheed

Men are invisible. “What?”
When people hear the word “gender,” they think it means women, gay, lesbian, bisexual. Until women can confront a men’s sense of entitlement, I don’t believe that we will understand why a great number of men resist gender equality. Men don’t have a gender. This is one of the ways that dominant systems maintain and reproduce themselves. Rarely is a dominating system challenged to think about its dominance; that’s one of the keys to power and privilege, the ability to go unexamined, lacking introspection, in fact, being rendered invisible. White men in the United States and Europe are the beneficiaries of the single greatest affirmative action program in the history of the world; they are invisible.

The lack of speaking out is silence, and isn’t silence a form of consent and complicity? We have heard that before in male rhetoric around female violence. “She didn’t say no”. That leads to the next question, why are men left out of the term, “female violence”?

“In the end, what will hurt the most is not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.”
― Martin Luther King

Humanity needs more adult men with power to start prioritizing these issues because gender equality is good for men. Young men want lives where they have a marvelous relationship with their child; where their children are safe from predators. They expect their partners to work outside the home and be just as committed to their careers as they are. When men participate in housework and childcare, their kids are happier and healthier. When men share housework and childcare, their wives are happier. When men share, they live longer, are happier, have daughters with high esteem, sons believing in gender equality, and they themselves are more successful and more profitable in business.

The World Economics Forum was reporting that it wouldn’t be until 2133 until Equal Pay would be a reality, but with recent global changes, it has been pushed back to 2186. Sadly, it will take 7 generations until that female Trauma Surgeon-in-Chief, the child’s mother, will be paid equally.
PS: Alternatively, it could have been one of the child’s two dads. Upholding equal humanity.

#womeninspirechange #HeforShe

Hostess?

Benevolent sexism can be found when white American men encourage men to be supportive of women in traditional roles, but when women seek power or to enter male-dominated fields, men react negatively towards them.

Daniel Bush noted, white male voters — in particular white, mostly working-class men in the Rust Belt and Midwestern states, look to men for leadership and guidance. “With a woman, you look for companionship and nurturing. A motherly role.”

According to Professors Glick and Fiske, “sexist ambivalence is the result of two basic facts about relations between women and men: male dominance (patriarchy) and interdependence between the sexes.

Benevolent sexism appears noble, or even “romantic,” but its effects can be devastating because the ideology supports gender inequality and is insidious. “Women should forego a career because they excel at childcare” and hostile sexism is “Women should forego a career because they lack ability”. Women often endorse benevolent sexism,  in countries with high hostile sexism,  where male protection is most appealing. Hence, high levels of hostile sexism among men lead to high levels of benevolent sexism among women.

This form is sexism is hiding all around us.

For example, food is a common topic for my husband Hari and me, as we have been in the restaurant business for almost 10 years. One or our friends was talking about a cake his “buddy” had baked. “It was great! And his wife didn’t even help”.

And just the other day at the restaurant, my husband was checking on a couple’s dinner when the husband asked,  “Oh  your wife’s not here?” Hari replied, “Yes, she is here, she is in the the back.” To Hari’s  irritation, the husband commented, “Well she’s the hostess and she’s not up front”.  My husband’s response was quick and directed as he defined my position at the restaurant, “She has never been the hostess, she is the Sommelier, manager, and co-owner. Not hostess!”

Even in my medical practice or the hospital, benevolent sexism is sadly alive and well.  Recently, I was at the hospital in my surgical scrubs looking exhausted while I finished seeing my last patient when another woman said to me, “Nurses’ work is rough, when does your shift end?”   “Actually, I am Dr. Pulapaka,” I responded and put out my hand for her to shake.

The most common sexist comment I hear, “Smile, you look so much prettier”.

I’ve been asked, “What’s the harm in someone calling you a “hostess”, well, the problem is their own disconnect with gender equality.  White males, in Ohio and Pennsylvania, did not connect how their stated values conflicted with why they were not going to vote for a woman for president, in the study by Bush.  Peter Glick and Susan Fiske in a 1996 study found that if a man offers to help a female coworker set up an office computer,  and she accepts, she is perceived as lacking a level of competence.  Additionally, she is viewed as a “bitch” if she politely refuses. When men accept help they are seen as vulnerable,  but “they do not suffer the same repercussions for trying to do things on their own.” In a study titled “Seeing the Unseen” psychologists, Janet Swim of Pennsylvania State University and Julia Becker of Philipps University Marburg, Germany,  report that “Women themselves ignore [all types of] sexism, and part of it is a coping mechanism”. I want to be clear that we are not talking about a man’s pure act of kindness, affection, or helpfulness. But, this complacent acceptance of ignoring sexism has harm.  NPR reported that in a 2016 study on gender and ethics, researchers found that women receive harsher punishments than men for ethical violations at work.

DJ Trump continues to push the gap further, and his supporters do not see the injustice.

There’s a possibility I would vote for a woman. But not her.

—Max Bowser, retired truck driver

Sexism will not be tolerated. I will resist your derogatory dialogue and seek out others who will prepare the next generation to uphold equal humanity.

#womeninspirechange

Wednesday Wreading: THE DOLL’S HOUSE

The Doll’s House by Katherine Mansfield

THE DOLL’S HOUSE

When dear old Mrs. Hay went back to town after staying with the Burnells she sent the children a doll’s house. It was so big that the carter and Pat carried it into the courtyard, and there it stayed, propped up on two wooden boxes beside the feed-room door. No harm could come of it; it was summer. And perhaps the smell of paint would have gone off by the time it had to be taken in. For, really, the smell of paint coming from that doll’s house (“Sweet of old Mrs. Hay, of course; most sweet and generous!”) — but the smell of paint was quite enough to make any one seriously ill, in Aunt Beryl’s opinion. Even before the sacking was taken off. And when it was . . .
There stood the doll’s house, a dark, oily, spinach green, picked out with bright yellow. Its two solid little chimneys, glued on to the roof, were painted red and white, and the door, gleaming with yellow varnish, was like a little slab of toffee. Four windows, real windows, were divided into panes by a broad streak of green. There was actually a tiny porch, too, painted yellow, with big lumps of congealed paint hanging along the edge.
But perfect, perfect little house! Who could possibly mind the smell? It was part of the joy, part of the newness.
“Open it quickly, some one!”
The hook at the side was stuck fast. Pat pried it open with his pen- knife, and the whole house-front swung back, and-there you were, gazing at one and the same moment into the drawing-room and dining-room, the kitchen and two bedrooms. That is the way for a house to open! Why don’t all houses open like that? How much more exciting than peering through the slit of a door into a mean little hall with a hat-stand and two umbrellas! That is-isn’t it? — what you long to know about a house when you put your hand on the knocker. Perhaps it is the way God opens houses at dead of night when He is taking a quiet turn with an angel. . . .
“Oh-oh!” The Burnell children sounded as though they were in despair. It was too marvellous; it was too much for them. They had never seen anything like it in their lives. All the rooms were papered. There were pictures on the walls, painted on the paper, with gold frames complete. Red carpet covered all the floors except the kitchen; red plush chairs in the drawing-room, green in the dining-room; tables, beds with real bedclothes, a cradle, a stove, a dresser with tiny plates and one big jug. But what Kezia liked more than anything, what she liked frightfully, was the lamp. It stood in the middle of the dining-room table, an exquisite little amber lamp with a white globe. It was even filled all ready for lighting, though, of course, you couldn’t light it. But there was something inside that looked like oil, and that moved when you shook it.
The father and mother dolls, who sprawled very stiff as though they had fainted in the drawing-room, and their two little children asleep upstairs, were really too big for the doll’s house. They didn’t look as though they belonged. But the lamp was perfect. It seemed to smile to Kezia, to say, “I live here.” The lamp was real.
The Burnell children could hardly walk to school fast enough the next morning. They burned to tell everybody, to describe, to-well-to boast about their doll’s house before the school-bell rang.
“I’m to tell,” said Isabel, “because I’m the eldest. And you two can join in after. But I’m to tell first.”
There was nothing to answer. Isabel was bossy, but she was always right, and Lottie and Kezia knew too well the powers that went with being eldest. They brushed through the thick buttercups at the road edge and said nothing.
“And I’m to choose who’s to come and see it first. Mother said I might.”
For it had been arranged that while the doll’s house stood in the courtyard they might ask the girls at school, two at a time, to come and look. Not to stay to tea, of course, or to come traipsing through the house. But just to stand quietly in the courtyard while Isabel pointed out the beauties, and Lottie and Kezia looked pleased. . . .
But hurry as they might, by the time they had reached the tarred palings of the boys’ playground the bell had begun to jangle. They only just had time to whip off their hats and fall into line before the roll was called. Never mind. Isabel tried to make up for it by looking very important and mysterious and by whispering behind her hand to the girls near her, “Got something to tell you at playtime.”
Playtime came and Isabel was surrounded. The girls of her class nearly fought to put their arms round her, to walk away with her, to beam flatteringly, to be her special friend. She held quite a court under the huge pine trees at the side of the playground. Nudging, giggling together, the little girls pressed up close. And the only two who stayed outside the ring were the two who were always outside, the little Kelveys. They knew better than to come anywhere near the Burnells.
For the fact was, the school the Burnell children went to was not at all the kind of place their parents would have chosen if there had been any choice. But there was none. It was the only school for miles. And the consequence was all the children in the neighborhood, the judge’s little girls, the doctor’s daughters, the store-keeper’s children, the milkman’s, were forced to mix together. Not to speak of there being an equal number of rude, rough little boys as well. But the line had to be drawn somewhere. It was drawn at the Kelveys. Many of the children, including the Burnells, were not allowed even to speak to them. They walked past the Kelveys with their heads in the air, and as they set the fashion in all matters of behaviour, the Kelveys were shunned by everybody. Even the teacher had a special voice for them, and a special smile for the other children when Lil Kelvey came up to her desk with a bunch of dreadfully common-looking flowers.
They were the daughters of a spry, hardworking little washerwoman, who went about from house to house by the day. This was awful enough. But where was Mr. Kelvey? Nobody knew for certain. But everybody said he was in prison. So they were the daughters of a washerwoman and a gaolbird. Very nice company for other people’s children! And they looked it. Why Mrs. Kelvey made them so conspicuous was hard to understand. The truth was they were dressed in “bits” given to her by the people for whom she worked. Lil, for instance, who was a stout, plain child, with big freckles, came to school in a dress made from a green art-serge table-cloth of the Burnells’, with red plush sleeves from the Logans’ curtains. Her hat, perched on top of her high forehead, was a grown-up woman’s hat, once the property of Miss Lecky, the postmistress. It was turned up at the back and trimmed with a large scarlet quill. What a little guy she looked! It was impossible not to laugh. And her little sister, our Else, wore a long white dress, rather like a nightgown, and a pair of little boy’s boots. But whatever our Else wore she would have looked strange. She was a tiny wishbone of a child, with cropped hair and enormous solemn eyes-a little white owl. Nobody had ever seen her smile; she scarcely ever spoke. She went through life holding on to Lil, with a piece of Lil’s skirt screwed up in her hand. Where Lil went our Else followed. In the playground, on the road going to and from school, there was Lil marching in front and our Else holding on behind. Only when she wanted anything, or when she was out of breath, our Else gave Lil a tug, a twitch, and Lil stopped and turned round. The Kelveys never failed to understand each other.
Now they hovered at the edge; you couldn’t stop them listening. When the little girls turned round and sneered, Lil, as usual, gave her silly, shamefaced smile, but our Else only looked.
And Isabel’s voice, so very proud, went on telling. The carpet made a great sensation, but so did the beds with real bedclothes, and the stove with an oven door.
When she finished Kezia broke in. “You’ve forgotten the lamp, Isabel.”
“Oh, yes,” said Isabel, “and there’s a teeny little lamp, all made of yellow glass, with a white globe that stands on the dining-room table. You couldn’t tell it from a real one.”
“The lamp’s best of all,” cried Kezia. She thought Isabel wasn’t making half enough of the little lamp. But nobody paid any attention. Isabel was choosing the two who were to come back with them that afternoon and see it. She chose Emmie Cole and Lena Logan. But when the others knew they were all to have a chance, they couldn’t be nice enough to Isabel. One by one they put their arms round Isabel’s waist and walked her off. They had something to whisper to her, a secret. “Isabel’s my friend.”
Only the little Kelveys moved away forgotten; there was nothing more for them to hear.
Days passed, and as more children saw the doll’s house, the fame of it spread. It became the one subject, the rage. The one question was, “Have you seen Burnells’ doll’s house?” “Oh, ain’t it lovely!” “Haven’t you seen it? Oh, I say!”
Even the dinner hour was given up to talking about it. The little girls sat under the pines eating their thick mutton sandwiches and big slabs of johnny cake spread with butter. While always, as near as they could get, sat the Kelveys, our Else holding on to Lil, listening too, while they chewed their jam sandwiches out of a newspaper soaked with large red blobs.
“Mother,” said Kezia, “can’t I ask the Kelveys just once?”
“Certainly not, Kezia.”
“But why not?”
“Run away, Kezia; you know quite well why not.”

At last everybody had seen it except them. On that day the subject rather flagged. It was the dinner hour. The children stood together under the pine trees, and suddenly, as they looked at the Kelveys eating out of their paper, always by themselves, always listening, they wanted to be horrid to them. Emmie Cole started the whisper.
“Lil Kelvey’s going to be a servant when she grows up.”
“O-oh, how awful!” said Isabel Burnell, and she made eyes at Emmie.
Emmie swallowed in a very meaning way and nodded to Isabel as she’d seen her mother do on those occasions.
“It’s true-it’s true-it’s true,” she said.
Then Lena Logan’s little eyes snapped. “Shall I ask her?” she whispered.
“Bet you don’t,” said Jessie May.
“Pooh, I’m not frightened,” said Lena. Suddenly she gave a little squeal and danced in front of the other girls. “Watch! Watch me! Watch me now!” said Lena. And sliding, gliding, dragging one foot, giggling behind her hand, Lena went over to the Kelveys.
Lil looked up from her dinner. She wrapped the rest quickly away. Our Else stopped chewing. What was coming now?
“Is it true you’re going to be a servant when you grow up, Lil Kelvey?” shrilled Lena.
Dead silence. But instead of answering, Lil only gave her silly, shame-faced smile. She didn’t seem to mind the question at all. What a sell for Lena! The girls began to titter.
Lena couldn’t stand that. She put her hands on her hips; she shot forward. “Yah, yer father’s in prison!” she hissed, spitefully.
This was such a marvellous thing to have said that the little girls rushed away in a body, deeply, deeply excited, wild with joy. Someone found a long rope, and they began skipping. And never did they skip so high, run in and out so fast, or do such daring things as on that morning.
In the afternoon Pat called for the Burnell children with the buggy and they drove home. There were visitors. Isabel and Lottie, who liked visitors, went upstairs to change their pinafores. But Kezia thieved out at the back. Nobody was about; she began to swing on the big white gates of the courtyard. Presently, looking along the road, she saw two little dots. They grew bigger, they were coming towards her. Now she could see that one was in front and one close behind. Now she could see that they were the Kelveys. Kezia stopped swinging. She slipped off the gate as if she was going to run away. Then she hesitated. The Kelveys came nearer, and beside them walked their shadows, very long, stretching right across the road with their heads in the buttercups. Kezia clambered back on the gate; she had made up her mind; she swung out.
“Hullo,” she said to the passing Kelveys.
They were so astounded that they stopped. Lil gave her silly smile. Our Else stared.
“You can come and see our doll’s house if you want to,” said Kezia, and she dragged one toe on the ground. But at that Lil turned red and shook her head quickly.
“Why not?” asked Kezia.
Lil gasped, then she said, “Your ma told our ma you wasn’t to speak to us.”
“Oh, well,” said Kezia. She didn’t know what to reply. “It doesn’t matter. You can come and see our doll’s house all the same. Come on. Nobody’s looking.”
But Lil shook her head still harder.
“Don’t you want to?” asked Kezia.
Suddenly there was a twitch, a tug at Lil’s skirt. She turned round. Our Else was looking at her with big, imploring eyes; she was frowning; she wanted to go. For a moment Lil looked at our Else very doubtfully. But then our Else twitched her skirt again. She started forward. Kezia led the way. Like two little stray cats they followed across the courtyard to where the doll’s house stood.
“There it is,” said Kezia.
There was a pause. Lil breathed loudly, almost snorted; our Else was still as a stone.
“I’ll open it for you,” said Kezia kindly. She undid the hook and they looked inside.
“There’s the drawing-room and the dining-room, and that’s the-”
“Kezia!”
Oh, what a start they gave!
“Kezia!”
It was Aunt Beryl’s voice. They turned round. At the back door stood Aunt Beryl, staring as if she couldn’t believe what she saw.
“How dare you ask the little Kelveys into the courtyard?” said her cold, furious voice. “You know as well as I do, you’re not allowed to talk to them. Run away, children, run away at once. And don’t come back again,” said Aunt Beryl. And she stepped into the yard and shooed them out as if they were chickens.
“Off you go immediately!” she called, cold and proud.
They did not need telling twice. Burning with shame, shrinking together, Lil huddling along like her mother, our Else dazed, somehow they crossed the big courtyard and squeezed through the white gate.
“Wicked, disobedient little girl!” said Aunt Beryl bitterly to Kezia, and she slammed the doll’s house to.
The afternoon had been awful. A letter had come from Willie Brent, a terrifying, threatening letter, saying if she did not meet him that evening in Pulman’s Bush, he’d come to the front door and ask the reason why! But now that she had frightened those little rats of Kelveys and given Kezia a good scolding, her heart felt lighter. That ghastly pressure was gone. She went back to the house humming.
When the Kelveys were well out of sight of Burnells’, they sat down to rest on a big red drain-pipe by the side of the road. Lil’s cheeks were still burning; she took off the hat with the quill and held it on her knee. Dreamily they looked over the hay paddocks, past the creek, to the group of wattles where Logan’s cows stood waiting to be milked. What were their thoughts?
Presently our Else nudged up close to her sister. But now she had forgotten the cross lady. She put out a finger and stroked her sister’s quill; she smiled her rare smile.
“I seen the little lamp,” she said, softly.
Then both were silent once more.

 

Women Who Hate Women

Women who hate women

What is cultural sexism?
It refers to the selectively unjustified negative behavior against women or men as members of a social category. It is particularly used to denote discrimination against girls and women. Research has suggested four levels of sexism? Individual, social/structural, institutional, and cultural.

If women hate women,  what is a female misogynist?
Simply put, a misogynist is that person who hates women.

Recent Office Scenario:
Recently a woman called the office, set up an emergency appointment for the next morning. The next day she shows up 45 minutes late. She never called to inform staff she was going to be late or reschedule. Furthermore, there was no emergency. When my female manager canceled her appointment, she became belligerent. One could hear the childish rant as she huffed off after attacking with women with vulgar comments. Well, when she received her no-show/same day cancellation bill, things became hysterically comical over the phone. All of her attacks were towards the women in the office on a personal, educational, social, and cultural levels.

This lead to an open discussion with my staff about the self professing, “fun loving, peace happy” woman.  My Team believed if it were a male physician, this would not have happened. If she were talking to a male manager, she would not have continued her unjustified negative behavior. There was a clear understanding that they were attacked for being women. They evaluated her previous visits & encounters noticing several key points. We know that education is the key to success. So let’s get educated on how a female misogynist behaves.

How to Identifying a Female Misogynist

  • She will zero in on a woman and choose her as their target.
  • As time goes on, her Dr. Jekyll & Ms. Hyde personality begins to show. She may change quickly from charming to rude, and from rude back to charming.
  • She will make promises to her women friends and often fails to keep them. With men, on the other hand, she will almost always keep her word.
  • She will be late for appointments and get-togethers with her women friends, but be quite punctual with men.
  • Her behavior toward women, in general, is extravagant, bitchy, controlling, and self-centered.
  • She is extremely competitive, especially with women. If a woman does better than her socially or professionally, she feels terrible and may attack aggressively towards them.
  • She will unknowingly treat women differently from men in the workplace and social settings, allowing men various liberties for which she will criticize female colleagues or friends.

According to Psychology Today:
” Women haters get off on treating women badly. Every time they can put down a woman or hurt her feelings, they unconsciously feel good because deep down in their hidden brain, their bad behavior is rewarded with a dose of the pleasure chemical dopamine—which makes them want to repeat the behavior again and again.”

Here are a few come-backs to choke the fire and break the cycle.

1.  You’re the adult, control the behavior quickly
“Did you just say that…in the office? Tone it down. ” Make it non-negotiable.

2.  Volley back against predictable attacks
Go there first. “Ms.X, you’re getting emotional. Let’s get back to the issue–whether this or that.”

3.  Call out the insult directly
“It sounds like you’re calling our office women dumb, and that hurts my feelings! You need to stay on topic without being offensive”.

We are exposed to misogynistic attacks by men and women based on our individual reasons, social interactions, the level of education, and lifestyle customs. Hence, giving your female team the ability to have strategies for a verbal repartee is important and makes your workplace a little better for the other women around you.

#womeninspirechange

#supportwomen

Women and not girls

THERE WAS ONCE

“There was once a poor girl, as beautiful as she was good, who lived with her wicked stepmother in a house in the forest.”

“Forest? Forest is passé, I mean, I’ve had it with all this wilderness stuff. It’s not a right image of our society, today. Let’s have some urban for a change.”

“There was once a poor girl, as beautiful as she was good, who lived with her wicked stepmother in a house in the suburbs.”

“That’s better. But I have to seriously query this word poor.”

“But she was poor!”

“Poor is relative. She lived in a house, didn’t she?”

“Yes.”

“Then socio-economically speaking, she was not poor.”

“But none of the money was hers! The whole point of the story is that the wicked stepmother makes her wear old clothes and sleep in the fireplace-”

“Aha! They had a fireplace! With poor, let me tell you, there’s no fireplace. Come down to the park, come to the subway stations after dark, come down to where they sleep in cardboard boxes, and I’ll show you poor!”

“There was once a middle-class girl, as beautiful as she was good-”

“Stop right there. I think we can cut the beautiful, don’t you? Women these days have to deal with too many intimidating physical role models as it is, what with those bimbos in the ads. Can’t you make her, well, more average?”

“There was once a girl who was a little overweight and whose front teeth stuck out, who-”

“I don’t think it’s nice to make fun of people’s appearances. Plus, you’re encouraging anorexia.”

“I wasn’t making fun! I was just describing-”

“Skip the description. Description oppresses. But you can say what colour she was.”

“What colour?”

“You know. Black, white, red, brown, yellow. Those are the choices. And I’m telling you right now, I’ve had enough of white. Dominant culture this, dominant culture that-”

“I don’t know what colour.”

“Well, it would probably be your colour, wouldn’t it?”

“But this isn’t about me! It’s about this girl-”

“Everything is about you.”

“Sounds to me like you don’t want to hear this story at all.”

“Oh well, go on. You could make her ethnic. That might help.”

“There was once a girl of indeterminate descent, as average-looking as she was good, who lived with her wicked-”

“Another thing. Good and wicked. Don’t you think you should transcend those puritanical judgmental moralistic epithets? I mean, so much of that is conditioning, isn’t it?”

“There was once a girl, as average-looking as she was well-adjusted, who lived with her stepmother, who was not a very open and loving person because she herself had been abused in childhood.”

“Better. But I am so tired of negative female images! And stepmothers-they always get it in the neck! Change it to stepfather, why don’t you? That would make more sense anyway, considering the bad behaviour you’re about to describe. And throw in some whips and chains. We all know what those twisted, repressed, middle-aged men are like-”

“Hey, just a minute! I’m a middle-aged-”

“Stuff it, Mister Nosy Parker. Nobody asked you to stick in your oar, or whatever you want to call that thing. This is between the two of us. Go on.”

“There was once a girl-”

“How old was she?”

“I don’t know. She was young.”

“This ends with a marriage, right?”

“Well, not to blow the plot, but-yes.”

“Then you can scratch the condescending paternalistic terminology. It’s woman, pal. Woman.”

“There was once-”

“What’s this was, once? Enough of the dead past. Tell me about now.”

“There-”

“So?”

“So, what?”

“So, why not here?”

 

Photo by:  Ryan McGuire

The Perspective Drawing Room on ERA

The Perspective Drawing Room on ERA

The post I placed on Facebook was meant for spin and reflection.  It is an interesting look into the drawing room of a man’s mind with regards to the equal rights amendment and accepted subjugation of women in the workplace & home.

Women, you need to get mad, very mad.  History shows that this will not end well for us.

Dialogue: 

What hollow words from a pro-misogynistic and ineffectual leader. Show women you have advanced beyond your pussy grabbing, children voyeur, body shaming tactics that got you elected. Your behavior may have been acceptable to the minority of women who voted for you, but you are grossly inadequate and unacceptable to the majority of women in the United States. Elevate women, finish the deal and provide constitutional protection with liberty and justice for all. Women are entitled to equality of rights under the law that shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on the account of sex.

MAN: I’m a little confused, Jenneffer. What “Constitutional Protection” and “Equality of Rights” are Currently being denied women by President Trump?

ME: What I wrote was for him to elevate women and provide them constitutional protection. Equal rights for all has been unfinished business in the United States. Doing so would not require spending or a budget. So maybe this is a deal he can finish.

MAN: You still didn’t answer the question as to what specific Constitutional protections and rights women are Currently being denied?

ME: Let me ask you, other than voting/suffrage, where are a women’s rights protected? Amendment 14 does not reflect equality, but discusses the rights guaranteed. Such that you are not deprived, but it does not protect equality of sexes. Equality. I wan…See More
Like · Reply · 2 · 13 hrs

MAN: OK, Jenneffer. I have no argument with “Equality”,and I respect, your position of a “Level playing field”. Maybe my gender, (and age) 😉 prevents me from seeing where women are denied “Equal Justice”. Would you propose “Tilting” the Playing field to achieve your goal?

ME: I want an agreement of equality protected by my government. I did not detail any tilting in my statement.
Like · Reply · 4 · 12 hrs

MAN: Last comment: (Promise) >>> I See just the opposite. The minute you get the government involved in “Equalization”, you HAVE “Tilted” the playing field. (Just another form of “Affirmative Action”). The laws are already there preventing discrimination. Our constitution guarantees Equal opportunity, NOT Equal Outcome.
Like · Reply · 1 hr · Edited

ME: No, they are already “tilted” in favor of men. Men hold rights and women if treated unequally, must prove that they hold them. Scalia brought forth that women and men are not equal in the Constitution, specifically the 14th Amendment, does not protect against sex discrimination. A person may not be deprived certain liberties, but women are not entitled to equal distribution of them. There’s nothing the courts can do to protect women from government-sanctioned discrimination. Laws preventing women from working in certain professions, using property, building credit, obtaining bank loans/credit cards without husband consent, serving on juries, or working at night were upheld under this standard. Equal rights under the Constitution remove any ambiguity and allows the Courts a clear directive to rule on cases if need be.
Our country is founded on the Constitution; 50% of the people within the United States are not clearly addressed. The 14th Amendment additionally, directs the jurisdiction to the States to uphold the equal protection of the laws. It is possible a State may take away a women’s rights, and the Court will not have a Constitutional ground to rule in favor of equality.

Note: Title IX, addresses some of these issues, but it only addresses public and private schools/universities that receive federal funding.
Like · Reply · 2 mins

ME: Thank you that was fun.

  • This was written in response to Trump revoking the 2014 Fair Pay and Safe Workplaces order on March 27. Two rules were lost that had the strongest impact on women workers: paycheck transparency and a ban on forced arbitration clauses for sexual harassment, sexual assault or discrimination claims. By overturning the Fair Pay order, Trump made it possible for businesses with federal contracts to force sexual harassment cases into secret proceedings. He is doing a great job of protecting his business partners and has opened the door to work place sex discrimination and sexual harassment, which is to be expected from a man that brags about his pussy grabbing skills. Female employee’s beware, claims against a company will be hidden again and you will not know who your sexual predators are, such as DJT himself.
  • Paycheck transparency is lost, making it harder for women to rectify discriminatory wages and the pay gap only increases as women become more educated and climb the corporate ladder. The previous Administration realized the abuse though the  Government Accountability Office and even published a report detailing the Federal Labor Law Violations by selected federal contractors.
  • Two words: Misogynistic Demagogue.