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= or ≠

STOP! Times up.

At every juncture, where I have spoken my mind & been firm about a calculated business decision regarding staff or policy I have been judged or attacked on a physical & personal level. That’s ugly. We have a problem. When women are crucified for violating the “lady-like” stereotype and viewed as less likable and less trustworthy, we have a big problem; and that stumbling block is being used to keep women in their place and off the corporate ladder.

I am equal.

—-Jenneffer Pulapaka

 

Here is a place to get local help.

Women Inspiring Change & Community Development (WICCD) is about the beauty, strength, and peace of collaborative efforts to secure Women’s Rights. We support the ability to overcome the struggle for equal opportunities in the workplace and employee benefits, women’s reproductive and fertility rights, the urgency to stop all forms of violence against women, and the enhancement of strong relationships.

WICCD helps with women’s rights and struggles designed for those who seek ideal aspirations, goals, and mission objectives in their professional careers, advocacy work, and personal lives.  

RESOURCES and ARTICLES:

WICCD Resource Page of Local Organizations 2017/2018
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nQ9Gj-CJmIofD0H6KElf74LnbiVtofyWybE8XdseT7g/edit

Women Are Less Likely to Apply for Executive Roles If They’ve Been Rejected Before
https://hbr.org/2017/02/women-are-less-likely-to-apply-for-executive-roles-if-theyve-been-rejected-before


7 leadership hurdles women face in the workforce

https://hbr.org/video/5159470991001/even-after-criticism-men-think-highly-of-themselves
Even After Criticism, Men Think Highly of Themselves

Women and African Americans are less influential when they express anger during group decision making
Jessica M. Salerno, Liana C. Peter-Hagene, Alexander C. V. Jay First Published May 16, 2017
http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1368430217702967

Gender bias in hospital leadership: a qualitative study on the experiences of women CEOs
Journal of Health Organization and Management
ISSN: 1477-7266
Health Manpower Management merged into Journal of Management in Medicine
http://www.emeraldinsight.com/doi/abs/10.1108/JHOM-12-2016-0243

 

 

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Sexism has tipped to the point of hate towards women

Our innovative world has evolved, but our ideas about gender have not evolved. This sexism has tipped to the point of hate towards women.

“No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”
– Nelson Mandela

Most recently the women that are my friends, my colleagues, restaurant staff, office staff, business management continue to be verbally abused and bullied. There remains no room for hate and violence in this world. We must learn to be more kind, compassionate, empathetic, and sympathetic to humanity.

People, I hear you. But, I’m good, and my staff are good. We have adjusted to key problems and have made changes, as we progress. Still, why do women in business face retaliation/pissiness from both men and women when it comes to the enforcement of office/business policies?
Examples:
Staff reporting to work on time,
Implementing payment on accounts receivable,
Business opening/closing schedule,
Can’t get a specific appointment,
Completing deadlines,
Questioning costs and overhead,
Applying proper dress codes,
Completing staff task lists,
Determination of charitable contributions,
Restricting counterproductive demands.

Does it come down to “Smile!” sexism? Public entitlement to control how a woman looks, speaks, and thinks?

As a businesswoman, I seek out and maintain sustainable practices in the multiple businesses I run. Sustainability rests on the principle that we must meet the needs of the present without compromising the abilities or opportunities of future generations. Therefore, if we are given the opportunity to influence other people, we should not influence their hate, jealousy, or anger. If a person continues to instill hostility towards another person or business after they have made positive and productive changes, what is the incentive for people to respond to constructive criticism?

Sadly, our community has reached a level of violent threats that include hate crimes towards our staff, against our friends, our neighbors, and myself pointedly.  Patients now openly threaten to beat staff over insurance dilemmas. It has reached a level where oppositional critics, a local musician enraged by a dress code, rallied for aggression while dismissing the request for assistance in preventing further violence.  He replied by writing, “that’s your problem”.  Instilling violence against women in our community is not productive, and using social media posts to inflame a derogatory & savage retaliation is vulgar.

No truer words can set the stage for our current atmosphere, that we must heal these wounds; we must allow tolerance; we must evolve our ideas on gender and race. Women are entitled to equality and the freedom it encompasses.

“America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.”
–Abraham Lincoln

Jenneffer Pulapaka

 

#MeToo #TimesUp #womeninspirechange #docslead #StopSexism  #WomensMarch

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Women’s Equality Day 2017

 

Women’s Equality Day, August 26th, marks the ratification of the 19th Amendment, giving women the right to vote. DJ Trump never proclaimed equality for women on the day of observance, something every sitting president since Nixon has done. Trump skirted around mentioning equal access to health care, the gender pay gap, or gender-based violence.  And hey, we have no shortage of questionable national days so do it right– hello, National Cheeseburger Day.

Here is the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA):
Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.

It IS that simple.

For years, I have listened to men complain about being discriminated by affirmative action. Guess what men? You will benefit from the passage of the equal rights amendment.

Today, there is little doubt that one of the greatest areas of discrimination against women is in employment. The average is an 18% pay discrepancy annually. Unions report, “we want to protect the little women” than admit that it is lucrative for the men in American industry. Thousands of jobs from which women are arbitrarily excluded are the well-paid, interesting, “male” jobs and what remains are the poorly paid, tedious jobs, as “female” jobs. This is a cruel way of keeping women in a condition of poverty and humiliation. 35% of the families headed by women live in poverty; 61% of the Nation’s poor children live in families headed by women. Your failure to pay equally leads to a nation of children destined for a path of poverty and dependence on government aid.

Equality must be written into our Constitution. Women have not been protected by the Supreme Court; which has not extended to any female citizen the protection of the 5th  or the 14th amendments. Why should working women spend thousands of dollars on litigation to gain work equality?

Prevarication that the amendment will keep women with dependent children from receiving alimony is a common scare tactic. The women I know, who are divorced, must work to support their children because child support is not there. If a man divorced his wife, done legally, got custody of the children, alimony, and child support, then good for him.

The ERA would put “gay rights” into the U.S. Constitution. Yes, it’s about damn time!

The ERA will jeopardize single-sex programs and schools. Yes, we need to begin teaching children that sexism in youth lays the foundation for sexism as an adult. We are a country that is sexist; dictated under a current Administration that demonstrates misogyny and racism. The current “ways” are not successful for 1/2 of its population. It is time to change. Additionally, it would take away women’s traditional exemption from military conscription and also from military combat duty. I wholeheartedly believe that all citizens, if able, be exposed to conscription and the ability to join the armed forces.

Yes, the ERA would put abortion rights into the U.S. Constitution and make abortion funding a constitutional right. I am sorry, anti-abortion advocates, your beliefs should not be above the current rules of law. Federal health care does not ban any legal medical procedure for men. Additionally, the ERA will lead to a balancing of insurance companies premiums: health, life, automobile, etc. Women will not be required to pay higher insurance premiums with equality; they will be paying insurance equally with men.

“I will continue to support and uphold equal humanity for all.  Let us never forget that all people in the USA are entitled that the equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex. ”

Jenneffer Pulapaka

 

#womeninspirechange #womenlead #docslead #equality

 

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Sexist

——————————————————
DEFINITION:   SEXIST
sex·ist/ˈseksist/
adjective
1. relating to or characterized by prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex.
“his attitude to women is patronizing and sexist”
noun
1.a person with sexist views.
“I want to make it clear that I’m certainly not a sexist”

——————————————————-
As I got off the phone, I thought, “Did that just happen?” And after a long pause, “No, it didn’t. I’m just hypersensitive to that issue. ”

I explained what happened to my husband and then went on with my day.

Again, two hours later I thought, “Did that really happen?” As I tap my pen on my desk, I wanted an answer. I had referred several patients to this doctor and three off the top of my memory had basal cell cancerous lesions like myself; one female and two males. I pick up the phone and did some quick follow-up calls. I thanked the last patient and got off the phone now knowing, that really happened.

All three patients have yet to have their surgeries. The woman is having insurance scheduling issues, and they are working with her on her options. But both men, can’t schedule surgery at this time as it interferes with their work. They planned on “getting it done,” over the next several months or during the Christmas break. They reported the doctor was understanding and did not hassle them about waiting until they could free-up time from work. Although, both men have been delaying surgery since their January and March diagnosis.

“Wow, that did happen!”

During my morning conversation with that same doctor, I told him I just finished several long vacations and had three more business trips and a packed schedule due to my absence. I was planning for January to have my surgery; in the mean time, I wanted to start topical treatment as my lesions are tiny and want them to remain under control.

DOC: “You need to clear your social calendar and get this surgery scheduled.” ME: I know my head tilted like a dog hearing a whistle. “What? No, I don’t have time right now and have to wait till next year when things can slow down”.
DOC: “Your social life is not an excuse.”
And then things spiraled into the abyss from there.

This doctor devalued my career, my patients, my businesses, my duties, my responsibilities, my own “doctor” work schedule, my “restaurant” work schedule, and my “advocacy” schedule. Only after my follow-up calls did I catch the depth of his devaluing of women. Both male patients had careers that were not addressed as a “social calendar,” he understood their need to perform at a high level, and the surgeries would have to wait.

This came right on the heels of the anti-diversity manifesto penned by James Damore. In it are the author’s qualms with diversity and inclusion initiatives at Google, programs he deemed a waste of time because women are inherently less suited for technical roles than men.

Blind commenter:
“The fella who posted that is extremely brave. We need more people standing up against the insanity. Otherwise ‘Diversity and Inclusion’ which is essentially a pipeline from Women’s and African Studies into Google, will ruin the company.”

“I’m impressed. It took serious guts to post that.”

“I hope nothing happens to the guy.”

So no, my doctor was not brave, and I am not impressed. I want to make it clear that my doctor is certainly a sexist. Right in the very definition as noted above, “his attitude to women is patronizing and sexist.” But no, nothing will happen to this guy and that is why women need to inspire change.

 

**Update

New doctor, great service, respected my schedule, and I am on a plan to being skin cancer free.  My new doc is a male because he is the best-qualified surgeon in my area and I am NOT gender biased.

 

 

 

 

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Taking AIM

Criticism, like it or not, is necessary for change. How you deliver it, demonstrates your constitution. Hillary Clinton once said, “It is important to learn how to take criticism seriously but not personally.” Furthermore, it is important to avoid disparaging remarks regards a person’s physical attributes or attire. While one may argue that appearance plays around in a critical personal assessment, never lead with that in the delivery of the information.

Recently, Ivanka Trump, at the G20 meeting, sat in on a panel discussion for her father. The photos during that meeting brought outrage, but their relevant facts disappeared among the childish remarks about her dress.

“I don’t mean to sound sexist — it can be dangerous to comment on what women wear — but the fact that she sat in for her father in a dress that was so incredibly ornamental was such a contradiction in terms.”

“the first daughter, who’s also a special adviser to the president, (is) wearing a ‘girly’ dress “

“IVANKA TRUMP wore a chic baby pink sleeved dress whilst at the Women’s Entrepreneurship Finance Event at the G20 summit in Hamburg, Germany.”

“questioned what ‘message’ Ivanka Trump was trying to send at the G20 Summit by wearing a pink ‘girly’ dress with bows”.

“It’s a pink dress with big bows on the elbows–that’s not a dress that’s made for work.”

Remove the petty and vulgar remarks related to appearance and focus on the current arguments relevant points.

“Her presence at the high-level table was somewhat unusual, given that government ministers are typically the ones called to stand in for heads of state at such sessions.”
“It does not appear that (Ivanka) spoke at the session,” and, “some say it further blurs the line between family and political affairs in the Trump administration.”

Criticism or feedback needs three key factors to be effective:

AIM
1.  Action addressed  ( “You are always 5 minutes late.”)
2.  Impact of action discussed (“This delays our meetings, make us late for our next appointments.”)
3.  Desired improved results ( “Be on time, or you are not welcome to join the meetings late in the future.”)

This feedback was not personal, it was factual and the impacts of the action discussed the reason for the desired change.

Do not waffle; be polite and direct. Do not use phrases such as:  I feel, please excuse me, would you consider, I’m sorry but, etc.

So the next time someone says to you,“Smile! You look so tired.” Respond with:

“Hello, that is not an appropriate greeting.  Comments like yours are hurtful about something I am unable to control, because I have been working all day. In the future, a simple ‘Hello’ said with a smile will make people smile.”

Practice staying on your AIM with the trivial actions in your daily life. These will hone your critical judgment skills, and you will present a stronger image regardless of your dress for success.

 

#womeninspirechange  #WICCD

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Wednesday Wreading: Cherokee Women and the Trail of Tears

Did you know Cherokee women had a voice in the Cherokee government? The Cherokee were not only matrilineal, but they also were matrilocal. “Marriage gives no right to the husband over the property of his wife.”    Read More about Cherokee Women and the Trail of Tears, by Theda Perdue.

 

Visit www.WICCD.org for more information about the gathering taking place on the Trail of Tears Commemoration Day, which gives us a chance to celebrate Native American’s rich heritage, to socialize with old friends and make new ones, to eat food inspired by centuries-old tradition, and to learn from mistakes while accepting each other as we are and walk together in peace.

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You’re not “interested”?

Threatened,
Disorganized,
Losing.

Growing up in Orlando, I wanted to “get into modeling.” My mother was on a fixed budget, though we had some spending money. We did not have the budget for my “I must go to modeling school” expense. However, my mom surprised me, got a new high-interest Choice credit card and paid for the most expensive Modeling & Image school in Orlando. I will never forget the expense she bore, nor would I forget what I had learned at school. Over 10-12 weeks, my mother would drop me off at class and pick me up, this is where I learned valuable skills and lifelong lessons about image and advancing your career. Those lessons allowed me to work in the Modeling industry earning money throughout my teenage years, in fashion shows, print, commercials, etc., before I left for college.

Three decades later, I am an accomplished modern day renaissance woman. I’ve used those lessons from my youth, over and over again.  I have heard extraordinary speakers, traveled extensively throughout the world, and run successful businesses. But, something was unsettling, there was a mysterious undercurrent creating inner turbulence. Jolting awake, in the early morning hours before the sun could flood the bedroom, I realized I hadn’t done a damn thing to support women’s rights. Why was that important?

As things go, I was recently updating my Curriculum Vitae and casually noticed I could have used phrases, such as, “the first female…”, “the only woman…”, “the only women out of…”, to a nauseating extreme. On that morning, I realized that I was able to disrupt the progressive narrative about women, but I had done nothing to secure its prosperous growth.

And that is the problem; women between the ages of 35-55 have done very little to maintain the equality milestones our predecessors created. In 1919, women stood outside the White House and demanded that they are allowed to vote. New laws in the 1920s would promote women’s health and education. In the 1960s and 70s, feminists guaranteed, under the law, limited equal rights in the workplaces of universities and colleges and secured the use of contraception, along with abortions rights.

Now we approach the 3rd Wave of Feminism, which is quietly protesting social reform against people’s unconscious biases. But, we have not taken care of the 2nd Wave, this newest generation is running with a grassroots movement that does not have a platform to build on. Our current government is still not set to guarantee women equal pay or representation; and the abortion issue, along with women’s health rights, is still on the chopping block almost monthly.

To this end, I challenged myself to promote projects that will support, encourage, and inspire women to know their worth and demand their equal rights. I needed to pick up where my generation dropped off.

I founded a symposium, Women Inspiring Change and Community Development (WICCD), pulling my weight and pushing women further. As I reached out to my generation, the new guards from my iconic past, for support, I was shocked by their complacent personal agenda. The bottom line was when I looked at the group of people I was surrounded by; it was easy for me to think I was accomplishing a lot. Because compared to many of them, I was the only one advocating for women. The powerful women I looked up to from my youth had been replaced. And there was the fault in my thinking; I needed to be the weakest link so that I can be pushed to do better, we can be better, women can be better. I must grow, when I’ve reached that goal, I need to stretch out and be better.

I need to say to my generation, what gives you the right to tell me you’re not “interested” in the promotion, protection, and advancement of women? What gives you the right, to hinder young girls with your faulted thinking of “we have it all”? Because we do not have it all. Why has my generation become comfortable? Do you know what it takes for women to become equal? Someone, some group, is waiting for us to fail. Now, what are you going to do about it?

You must get up. If we are not where we want to be, you must sacrifice. Don’t take your great ideas to the graveyard.

What are you going to do with your time? You have wasted almost a half century, and things have not become better. We are slipping. You need to get back up and push yourself, push your pain to where you need to be. Your pain will move you from where you are today to where you want to be in the future.

You have an opportunity of a lifetime. If you want this to be your decade, you must give up the trivial. Stretch, work day and night, and reach for your unfolding future. We are inches away from losing all those rights the women and men before us had struggled to achieve. You don’t want it bad enough if you want to relax on the weekends. You can’t relax, you must get up and decide how you are going to fix this it. We need to teach valuable skills and life-long lessons emphasizing that Women’s Rights are invaluable to our society. Teach young girls that poise and grace can exist with grit and passion. Because this is a long hard fight, do you have the skill and determination to stay in the game? I do; challenge me, be stronger than me, make us all reach towards a better future for Women.

 

Jenneffer Pulapaka

#womeninspirechange

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Do you see me?

Do you see me? I don’t think you do, so let me shed some light and quote Nayyirah Waheed,”Never trust anyone who says they do not see color. This means to them, you are invisible,” and this invisibility cloak extends to gender.

I asked a simple question about women’s roles in movies. Most of the people referred to movies produced in the last two decades spanning approximately 12,000 A-listed films. From the titles listed by my family, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances, a list of about 45 movies was compiled where the woman is the strong protagonist, not a comic book character, not bitchy, and not looking for romance. People listed movies, TV series, short films that expanded well beyond A-listed films and was encompassing a base of closes 50,000 movies and only about 45 tiles could be conjured up.

On average, most people watch 5 hours of TV daily. According to IMDb since 1900 an average 2577 movies are produced per year. In the past 10 years, things have exploded from 4584 in 2005 to 9387 in 2015.

Do you see me?

In 4,370 speaking/named characters on screen (good/bad/indifferent):
100 top‐grossing films of 2015
68.6% male
31.4% female
Gender ratio of 2.2 males/1 female.

There has been no meaningful change between 2007 and 2015.

Of the 100 top films of 2007- 2015
32% depicted a female lead/co lead
5 films portrayed female leads/co leads 45 years of age or older
26 films portrayed male leads/co leads 45 years of age or older.

When you do see me, what am I?
from 2007-2015
12% Women protagonists
30.2% women in sexually revealing clothing
7.7% men in sexually revealing clothing
29% women nudity
9.5% male nudity

100 top‐grossing films of 2015
1,365 directors, writers, and producers:
81% men
19% women.
107 directors
92.5% men
7.5% women.

2007-2015 in 800 films and 886 directors
4.1% women directors
Gender ratio of 24 men/1 female.
3 Black women directors
1 Asian female director

Women-directed films had 6.8% more females on screen
Women-written films had 7.5% more females on screen

The above data is from, Stacy Smith: The data behind Hollywood’s sexism

Why is the film industry important? Because the growing body of psychological research and theory on gender and leadership note, there are role incongruities and prejudice toward females and female leaders when it comes from the social information people receive from their daily lives. Storytelling is important. Women are being left out of that history, left out of the dialogue, and portrayed in sexualized and trivialized ways. What we see on-screen and what we see in the world, does not match. Stories tell us what societies value and they offer us lessons.

Prejudice is learned, and to white men of privilege, they do not see women. Therefore, women, you need to share your stories of strength and preserve our history.

#Womeninspirechange #doclead #bywomen #WICCD

MOVIE LIST: woman is the strong protagonist, not a comic book character, not bitchy, and not looking for romance

  1. Helen Keller
  2. Corrina, Corrina
  3. The Blind Side
  4. Tracks
  5. Driving Miss Daisy
  6. Erin Brockovich
  7. Sister Act
  8. A League of Their Own
  9. The Help
  10. 9 to 5
  11. Mame
  12. Contact
  13. Gravity
  14. Hidden Figures
  15. Denial
  16. Temple Gardin
  17. The Iron Lady
  18. Elizabeth
  19. Anne of Green Gables
  20. The Legend of Billie Jean
  21. Joan of Arc
  22. Julie and Julia
  23. To Kill A Mockingbird
  24. Philomena
  25. Matilda
  26. Gorillas in the Mist
  27. Silkwood
  28. Norma Rae
  29. Panic Room
  30. “Merkel” – yet to be released
  31. Alien – Saga
  32. Victor Victoria
  33. Orphan Black
  34. Million Dollar Baby
  35. Silence of the Lambs
  36. GI Jane
  37. Sister Cities
  38. Extremities
  39. Dead Calm
  40. Brokedown Palace
  41. Changeling
  42. Mad Max: Fury Road
  43. Agora
  44. The Whistleblower
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Wednesday Wreading: Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches

Sister Outsider:  Essays and Speeches
by
Audre Larde

Two essays from the book’s collection are linked below.

Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power*

When we look away from the importance of the erotic in the development and sustenance of our power, or when we look away from ourselves as we satisfy our erotic needs in concert with others, we use each other as objects of satisfaction rather than share our joy in the satisfying, rather than make connection with our similarities and our differences.

Age, Race, Class, and Sex: Women Redefining Difference

Today, with the defeat of ERA, the tightening economy, and increased conservatism, it is easier once again for white women to believe the dangerous fantasy that if you are good enough, pretty enough, sweet enough, quiet enough, teach the children to behave, hate the right people, and marry the right men, then you will be allowed to co-exist with patriarchy in relative peace, at least until a man needs your job or the neighborhood rapist happens along.

 

 

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Mother’s Day Gift Idea

Women inspire change!  This year I have been investing in people; people that uphold equal humanity.  Therefore, I want to help you find a story, one that speaks to you and in doing so you can help to change a life.  Just go to Kiva and start your own portfolio or send a gift card for someone to join. There you have the chance to make a loan to people in more than 80 countries so they can start businesses, go to school and improve life for their families.

It’s your choice, inspire change.

 

#WomenInspireChange #Kiva

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