Criticism, like it or not, is necessary for change. How you deliver it, demonstrates your constitution. Hillary Clinton once said, “It is important to learn how to take criticism seriously but not personally.” Furthermore, it is important to avoid disparaging remarks regards a person’s physical attributes or attire. While one may argue that appearance plays around in a critical personal assessment, never lead with that in the delivery of the information.
Recently, Ivanka Trump, at the G20 meeting, sat in on a panel discussion for her father. The photos during that meeting brought outrage, but their relevant facts disappeared among the childish remarks about her dress.
“I don’t mean to sound sexist — it can be dangerous to comment on what women wear — but the fact that she sat in for her father in a dress that was so incredibly ornamental was such a contradiction in terms.”
“the first daughter, who’s also a special adviser to the president, (is) wearing a ‘girly’ dress “
“IVANKA TRUMP wore a chic baby pink sleeved dress whilst at the Women’s Entrepreneurship Finance Event at the G20 summit in Hamburg, Germany.”
“questioned what ‘message’ Ivanka Trump was trying to send at the G20 Summit by wearing a pink ‘girly’ dress with bows”.
“It’s a pink dress with big bows on the elbows–that’s not a dress that’s made for work.”
Remove the petty and vulgar remarks related to appearance and focus on the current arguments relevant points.
“Her presence at the high-level table was somewhat unusual, given that government ministers are typically the ones called to stand in for heads of state at such sessions.”
“It does not appear that (Ivanka) spoke at the session,” and, “some say it further blurs the line between family and political affairs in the Trump administration.”
Criticism or feedback needs three key factors to be effective:
AIM
1. Action addressed ( “You are always 5 minutes late.”)
2. Impact of action discussed (“This delays our meetings, make us late for our next appointments.”)
3. Desired improved results ( “Be on time, or you are not welcome to join the meetings late in the future.”)
This feedback was not personal, it was factual and the impacts of the action discussed the reason for the desired change.
Do not waffle; be polite and direct. Do not use phrases such as: I feel, please excuse me, would you consider, I’m sorry but, etc.
So the next time someone says to you,“Smile! You look so tired.” Respond with:
“Hello, that is not an appropriate greeting. Comments like yours are hurtful about something I am unable to control, because I have been working all day. In the future, a simple ‘Hello’ said with a smile will make people smile.”
Practice staying on your AIM with the trivial actions in your daily life. These will hone your critical judgment skills, and you will present a stronger image regardless of your dress for success.
#womeninspirechange #WICCD
