Hospitality is an environment of misogyny, servitude, and sexual harassment from the guests as well. For the last 12 years, I have lived in a community that is welcoming and divisive. Ten years ago, I moved into the realm of hospitality at night, and I endured the darker side of people’s essence. I have been adamant and will remain steadfast in my lack of tolerance from those demanding servitude or subjugation. You know who you are, and this is not about exposing you at this time.
The number of women customers that had abused staff is heinous. People who assume it was mostly abuse “by men on women” have pedestrian thinking.
I have had:
- Dr’s wives snapping fingers and calling me bitch,
- local businesswomen addressing me as “honey” & “sweety”,
- “Do you know who I am? And I ‘m more important than that other table,
- a relator’s father physically hitting me,
- the business owner walks out without play for her bottle,
- dentist demands staff to hold the check until next week,
- gossiping “alternative” facts only behind my back,
- women verbally beating me up because I have a natural frown,
- and blackmailing me if they don’t get a reservation when the tiny dining room was already booked up.
Initially, I was able to brush off the venom; but like a dog that is punched daily, I was unable to sustain that level of abuse from the guests while remaining pleasant and perky with a smile on my face. They sent me to a “bad place”; and I was angry with everyone, everything, from every side. We even began arguing with each other, staff against staff over who could make more money. It was there, in that place, that I changed. I became intolerant of the abuse and learned to resist. With my husband by my side, we stood up and said enough. That was over three years ago.
So what happened? Why three years ago? Colossal relief came to all of the staff with the inclusion of tips. Customers lost their leverage to be nasty, abusive, and sexually harass the team. We made sweeping changes that resulted in staff equality between the front and back of the house teams. We took the power back and lifted the staff up. Hospitality businesses locally and globally pimp out their “girls”; present them to the public like a toy that guests can harass for tips. No more. We gave them the freedom to say, ENOUGH.
This is an excellent NYT interactive, THE TIPPING EQUATION, this time its about the sexual harassment experienced by waitstaff in the restaurant industry: “In interviews, more than 60 servers and bartenders—nervous teenagers and seasoned veterans, students and single mothers, a few men but mostly women—shared stories of crude comments, propositions, groping and even stalking from customers. They work in diners, chain restaurants, and high-end dining establishments; they reported hourly take-home pay ranging from $8 to more than $40.
#TimesUp
